On Imperfect Timing + Why Believing in Yourself doesn't Work

Yes, I know, this title is clickbait. We all know there’s no such thing as perfect timing and you most certainly should believe in yourself whenever possible (no thanks to my Evangelical upbringing, but more on that some other time maybe…), but why did I decide now — almost a year after posting my last piece here — was the right time to start typing things again?

Because, it really, really, isn’t the most perfect timing. On the tail of a year long creative dry spell, plus a long streak of not believing in my creativity doesn’t equate to wanting to spread my “Liv Lore” across the internet. Despite feeling the most internally confident that I ever have, the words just aren’t flowing anymore. What can I even contribute that hasn’t been shared already? Between content fatigue, not knowing where my place in the internet lies, and really just being interested in anything and everything, I haven’t felt the urge to create much of anything except seasonal coffee menus, floor plans, and budgets.

“If my 20’s were spent rip-roaring through milestones (and they were), my 30s will be spent in slowness, weighing each day, each breath, and deciding what feels most “me”. ”

On the Simple Coffee front, there’s so much under the surface that I wish I could word vomit onto the internet without repercussions. Growth, I think, almost always comes at a cost. One shop is well established and rolls along like a well-oiled machine (or, as well-oiled as a completely seasonally driven business in a touristy trap of an economy can…), and the other is still a figment of my imagination mostly, with framed walls and semi-plumbed toilets. We are an easy 3-5 months behind schedule, scraping together funding for each bill that comes and by all accounts, terrified and swearing off building coffee shops of all kind altogether.

By “we”, of course, I mean “me”. I’ve essentially anthropomorphized a coffee shop at this point.

And so the timing is terrible, don’t you see?

I recently spoke with an Instagram friend about her goal to make big moves in her business this year. She mentioned how she struggles to believe in herself enough to take the risks, make the schedule and commitment changes necessary, and “go the distance” for her dream business. I took a while to reply, probably a full day or two, because I honestly couldn’t tell her some lie about believing in my own vision or “trusting the process” or “taking a leap of faith”. Even if those are all things we have to do at some point, they just aren’t helpful idioms and, some days, I really don’t think I have what it takes. I’ve done this for five years, I’ve built three coffee shops (and a half?) in that amount of time and I still wake up in a cold sweat wondering how we’ll keep going and feeling like I don’t have what it takes.

Are you inspired yet? ;)

This is one thing I know: if my 20s were spent rip-roaring through milestones (and they were), my 30s will be spent in slowness, weighing each day, each breath, and deciding what feels most “me”.

January is meant to be the month of resets, goals, climbs, intentions, cleanses, renewals. And I’ve only felt the desire to retreat into myself, dig deep, and not make a single plan whatsoever. What if, instead of treating a new year like a new chapter or a fresh start, we decided that there’s no such thing as perfect timing? What if we gave ourselves the freedom to doubt our own abilities, while still dreaming big? What if we said to ourselves that everything might be chaotic, complicated and chronically imperfect, despite our best laid plans?

My wish for all of us in 2024 isn’t to accomplish our wildest dreams, take huge steps, or build our loftiest of goals. I simply want us to step. One foot at a time, one decision at a time, one look inward to see what aligns most with where we want to be next, at a time. Just one step. There is never a perfect timing for these things. But you can learn to listen, re-listen, and trust in yourself, even when you don’t really believe in yourself.

That’s my only real goal for this year.

What about you?